Do you like to procrastinate? I am the procrastination master. Hell, I’m procrastinating writing a proper blog right now to write this instead. I’ve been procrastinating all day. So I figured I’d share with you my thoroughly tested list of things you can do to avoid doing the things you need to do. You’re welcome. Double points if reading this is one of the things you’re doing to procrastinate doing something more important.
1. Check Instagram. The classic procrastinators’ app.
2. Remember the belly button piercing you used to have, but took out because waistlines got higher and it got annoying? See if you can get the barbell through it now.
3. Think of random historical figure. Google them. Find a fun fact and text it to your significant other then wait for a confused text back.
4. Remember that person you met twice 5 years ago who was related to that person you used to work with? Yeah, Facebook stalk them.
5. Think about cake. Think about the giant cakes that Hayley Mills ate in Pollyanna in the fairground scene. Try and find a GIF of that.
6. Spend a long time figuring out when you last drank a cup of coffee. Ask other people to weigh in on this.
7. Think about all the rules you follow blindly without questioning. Such as “never reheat leftovers more than once”. Investigate why this is a thing you should carry on doing on multiple bizarre forums. Sign up for a few. Lurk in the background.
8. Play Fridge Vs Cupboard; which one is more depressing?
9. Stand on the balcony and see what the neighbours are down below are doing. Think you see someone in the house across the way peeking at you from the second story bedroom window. Become paranoid.
10. Netflix. Because the whole line up might have changed since the last time I looked and I need to keep on this.