Hey. I started writing about my thoughts upon rewatching Gilmore Girls quite some time ago. Like, more than a year ago. On a normal blog this would mean that it’s cancelled as a segment. But you’re reading TheMayfairy.com. So it’s never cancelled. It’s just ridiculously behind schedule. Here is a mishmash of thoughts, some jotted down during a recent rewatching, some more than a year old and a little impossible for even me to decipher. Like that would stop me from publishing this nonsense. *smirk*
Also, my husband has now watched this with me so many times he feels like an expert, so it’s good to explore the male opinion here too.
1– Ok, this was technically in Season 2, but I forgot to mention it last time. The episode where Lorelai goes to a spa with Emily and Rory is left home alone and wants to do laundry rather than have her boyfriend, Dean, come over. So Dean throws a tantrum but Rory holds her ground and orders Indian food. It’s all messed up of course when Paris comes over having some kind of academic emergency and demands that Rory study with her. Then Jess turns up with a “care package” from Luke which is actually just stuff Jess threw in a bag and took to her house as an excuse to hang out with her without Dean being around. I literally think this might be my favourite Gilmore Girls episode ever, which is why I’m devoting so much space to this in a blog post that’s not even about this season. Rory, Jess and Paris have this epic feast and talk about about books and all is good in the world when Dean turns up uninvited and throws his toys around like a brat.
My question: What the hell happened to Rory’s Indian food? Did it ever show up? Did Paris and Jess complain about the smell so much they were forced to leave it on Babette’s back porch risking one of her cats nibbling on it a little and turning into diarrhoea-rocket-cat for the next six episodes? I NEED TO KNOW.
2– I’ve noticed that Jess always mentions Santa Claus. It’s his go to pop culture reference. When Lorelai catches him in Rory’s bedroom with the whole Dean-bracelet-debacle she asks him if he pulled a Mission Impossible and snuck in and he tells her he pulled a Santa Claus and came down the chimney. At the party Lane’s band plays at he’s with Rory in Kyle’s bedroom and tells her that Santa could come down the chimney. I think there’s another time, but I can’t remember it.
3– While I’m on a Jess bend, I noticed that women seem to love the Jess character and men seem to hate him. I grilled my husband about this. He wasn’t keen on the grilling, but the best I got out of him was something about Jess being one of those “cool” good looking idiots with big hair that women like and he resents that. This could be an interesting take on toxic masculinity. We all know that Jess has issues (dealing with his father abandoning him), and he seems to try to deal with those issues by pretending to be the Big Tough Manly Man. He avoids all male friendship, hence his fights with Dean even before it becomes a Rory issue. He pushes Luke away and has to be seen to be not giving a fuck at every opportunity, so that nothing can hurt him. Basically, he’s trying to prove to himself that he doesn’t need masculine approval because he is already doing super well in the masculine sense. This gives him such a satisfying character redemption arc when he eventually confronts his father and then goes back to Philadelphia and sorts his shit out. However, before that, we as women aren’t as affronted by his “men fuck off” vibe as dudes are, so we feel for him and his good hair. Rory is his only real opportunity for friendship in Stars Hollow and it probably also aids his toxic masculinity complex if he’s able to steal Dean’s (baseball playing six foot two alpha male) girl.
4– Why does Rory’s writing always seem so damned boring? She tries so hard to be poignant. Just crack a damn joke, already.
5– Lane’s purple hair was the worst wig ever. Just terrible. Like, they could have made it better by just wearing two of those flimsy things…
6– What the hell is up with all the blatant slut shaming of Jess’s girlfriend Shane? Shane seemed nice enough, she even put up with a lot of bullshit. So what, she didn’t go to fancy private school, but she probably didn’t have rich grandparents paying her way. There’s no real need to make out like she’s some big idiot. Or that she’s a big slut because she has a boyfriend and kisses him in public. Even if she’s doing more than kissing him, this is a TV show with a 16 year old pregnant girl at the root of its plot, so puritanical teenage sexual morality seems a weird hill for any of the Gilmores to die on.
Plus, Shane actually had a part time job and worked at the Beauty Supply shop to pay her way in the world, unlike spoiled brat Rory. Which was weird coz that one time she was in the beauty store arguing with bitchy Rory she was also supposed to be in Jess’s closest. Shane is a master magician. I wish I’d been in my boyfriend’s closet the whole time I wasted working at a supermarket during my teen years. And, while I’m stanning for Shane, Rory’s big argument with her was the fact that she was on the phone making a personal call during business hours. Rory does this exact same thing when she gets the job scanning lunch passes at Yale a year or two later. Just FYI.
7– Why do Lane and Dave have to hide their relationship from the rest of the band? I get why they hide it from Mrs Kim. But do Brian and Zach really need to be tiptoed around? To the point where Dave has to treat Lane like shit in front of them to “prove” there’s no romantic attachment? Also, neither Brian nor Zach stands up for her when Dave attacks her drumming. These boys aren’t your friends, Lane.
8– I have more Jess questions. Jess is supposed to be super smart. So then, why the fuck does he consider smoking a cigarette while leaning on a petrol pump?! Yes, cigarettes will add to your early 2000s bad boy image, but you may also blow everything around you the fuck up. In the end the only reason he holds off is because he’s waiting for Rory and she may not kiss him if he’s all smoky breathed.
9– This is probably apparent in earlier seasons, but Rory’s big thing is keeping information from people for no reason at all, eventually to her own detriment. Ie, she keeps the Francie-meetings-in-girls-toilet stuff to herself, when really if she’d given Paris a heads up it would have saved a lot of aggravation. And she doesn’t tell Lorelai that Chilton is making her apply to more than one college. Even if she kept her Yale application on the down low, shouldn’t she have at least told her about applying to Princeton? Weren’t there interviews and things? Just tell people stuff! You’re supposed to be friends!
10– What is with the Chilton lunch bell? It rings before anyone has a chance to eat at all. Sometimes they’ve just taken their tray to the table, sat down and it suddenly rings after one short conversation. Juice boxes are still full!
11– Same with lessons. No teacher at Chilton can lesson plan. They’re always right in the middle of a lesson – a sentence even- when the bell rings and they always seem surprised. Like, buy a watch you dumb fucks and structure your lessons. No one will remember the mathematical formulas if you insist on giving students the first half at Tuesday morning classes and the second half in last period Thursday afternoon.
12– At Friday night dinners, Lorelai drinks a lot of alcohol in order to deal with her parents and their terse relationship. Then she drives home. Maybe give Rory the wheel if you’ve been on the wine and martinis, Lorelai?! You’re driving half an hour on the open road. Once Rory turns 21 she’s just as bad. And isn’t it weird that the grandparents won’t let Rory have even a sniff of alcohol before she’s 21 – not an aperitif or an after dinner port – but they’re super cool with drink driving.
13– Why doesn’t any woman ever have a handbag when they walk around Stars Hollow? Especially when the girls love to wear tight jeans. Where are they keeping keys, wallets, money, pagers, phones, lip gloss etc?
14– Francie goes on about her goal being achieving the perfect liquid line. She doesn’t even wear eye makeup. Liquid liner is a weird thing to jump to in 2003 if you haven’t even figured out pencil and felt tip yet.
15– Money doesn’t exist in this universe, unless it’s a specific plot point. For example, how does Lorelai pay for all the takeout at the first night at Rory’s Yale dorm? How does Sookie afford Tobin as her maid? How do they always have brand new clothes?
16– My husband hates Jason. I don’t have a big psychological reason for this, but if you have thoughts hit me up in the comments. Frankly it would have been nice to to get some closure on the Alex storyline before Jason came along. Like, even an offhand line of dialogue about how he got caught dealing cocaine and was sent to prison for 20 years would be sufficient to explain his exit.
17– Nice to see the massive food wastage continues at Yale. Rory likes to bring food into a room, sit it down on the table, have a big fight with someone then storm off without a single bite. This is how she stays thin.
18– How on earth did Sookie and Lorelai plan to make money at that Lord of the Rings birthday party? How much do you even pay for a kid’s birthday party? How much was all that food? The right food and the wrong food. And dear good why did they get their props from Kim’s Antiques? They need some plastic tat, not authentic seventeenth century antique swords and bows for fuck’s sake.
19– Why did Mrs Kim randomly check if Lane was in her bed that night she snuck out to New York for the gig? Do people wake up and go, “yeah, let’s see if my 19 year old daughter is in her bed at 3.30am”? Why is there a fireman there when Mrs Kim raises the alarm?
20– If Mrs Kim is so strict and Lane wants to be in a band and she really doesn’t want to go to Christian college, why doesn’t she just make arrangements to move out seeing as she’s an adult? I guess I know the answer is because it’s hard to reject everything you’ve ever known, but jeez, it never even occurs to her.
21– Do you think Rory actually started paying off the Yale debt to her grandparents? Five years after she graduates was the deal. I vote no.
22– Someone once had a go at me for liking Paris but I think this is unfair. Paris definitely does bad stuff on a personal level, but she actually seems to have some self awareness about it. This as opposed to Rory, who seems to think she’s perfect even when she’s shagging her married ex-boyfriend. I think Paris’s attitude is somewhat forgivable because she’s a teenager and being a teenager is basically awkwardly learning how not to be an arsehole. Paris has real world repercussions for her arsehole behaviour, so she knows what’s up even if her attempts to fix it aren’t always perfect. Rory never gets called out on any of her shit. So she carries on being an arsehole.
23– Speaking of which, this seems to be a family trait. No one calls Gran out on her shit either. She’s obsessed with doing the ‘proper thing’ but goes out of her way to be rude to everyone, ie when Jason buys her the book on French antiques. No one points out the hypocrisy. While this is quietly awesome, it wouldn’t kill someone to raise an eyebrow.