I’ve been binge rewatching the whole series of Gilmore Girls on Netflix lately, in preparation for the new episodes at the end of the year. I already own this shit on DVD but with Netflix I don’t have to get up off the couch and change the DVD over every couple of episodes. Yes I’ve reached a new, epic level of laziness.
Anyway, I’m currently watching season three and figured it was a good idea to mull over my thoughts on seasons one and two with you guys. I loved Gilmore girls when it came out, as I was basically the same age as Rory. It felt super current in my world. I loved to read, I had a super long term boyfriend in high school and everyone in my home town is basically Kirk. So you can understand the appeal.
However, rewatching this time with my new grown up filter made me question a few things. A little bit of yelling at the TV happened. Also, husband creature watched many episodes with me and his Gilmore virgin status helped open my eyes to some stuff I missed the first 700 times.
It really did cement that one of the things I love about this show is that most of the characters are terrible at one time or other. Or most of the time. But we still love them because their good bits are good enough to make up for the terrible bits. That’s pretty true to life. Most of us are terrible, trying to cover it up with a few witty good bits. You’re terrible. I’m terrible. Kirk lives, folks. Kirk lives.
1 – WTF is up with Dean breaking up with Rory?! He dumps her because she doesn’t say “I love you” immediately after being ambushed by it on their three month anniversary. They’re 16 and they’ve been together three months. THREE MONTHS. That ain’t love, Dean, calm down.
The way their relationship is portrayed it seems unlikely that they’ve even done any fingering. 16 year old love only comes in two kinds: fingering love and Jesus obstructed love. This isn’t love.
Then he ignores her completely for the weeks following. Again, not love. If you love somebody and you break up, you make every bad decision to try to fix that shit right away. Especially when you’re 16.
2 – I keep watching Sookie making all these beautiful cakes and cookies and all of the ornately decorated edible THINGS and I feel bad that no one is Instagramming this stuff. Seriously, what’s the point?
3 – Speaking of food, finish a fucking meal. Why are you ordering food you don’t have time to eat? At one point Rory begs Dean to swap breakfasts with her, only for her to eat like two bites before running off to school. If you’re leaving a full meal on your plate at least take a doggy bag.
They keep going on about how much junk they eat but they don’t actually eat any of it. Therein lies the secret. They waste a ton of money on junk food, but it doesn’t seem to get past their teeth. Even if they’re watching movies with Dean and eating pizza, when the camera pans over the food seemingly hours later there’s still pizza left. Pizza. Three people, one pizza. One of those people is a teenage boy. Nope. I can get through an entire pizza on my own and still have room for sugary candy. It’s killing me to see all this food go to waste.
4 – Also remember the concert episode? Some client at the inn gives Sookie four tickets to a Bangles concert in New York. Weird gift to give a chef you don’t know in 2001, sounds like someone wanted to get out of going to a Bangles concert to me.
She wants to take Lorelai, which makes sense as they are the right age to appreciate the show. She also wants to take Rory and Lane. Ok, I’ll roll with it. When Lane can’t go Lorelai gives the tickets to the snobs from Rory’s private school so that Rory can make friends with them.
Not your tickets to give away, Lorelai. Teenage girls in 2001 couldn’t give a fuck about the Bangles, Lorelai. The two people (Lorelai and Sookie) who actually have an active interest in the damn band shouldn’t be the ones squinting up the back with cheap seats, for fuck’s sake, Lorelai. Couldn’t Sookie and Lorelai have just scalped the two extra tickets and sent the girls to a movie in Hartford or something?
5 – What the hell does Headmaster Charleston have against Oprah? When Rory tells him she wants to be Christiane Amanpour, he makes sure to clarify that she didn’t actually mean Oprah. Now, say what you will about Oprah, but she’s hella successful. You might disagree with her politics, the things she lends her voice to, her penchant for giving away cars and shouting, whatever, that is your prerogative. But you can’t deny that she came from nowhere and now runs her own freaking media empire.
Charley boy, if someone goes to your school and ends up only half as successful as Oprah Winfrey, you’re all going to be talking about them for years to come. Stand down, old man.
6 – Why do Max and Lorelai get engaged? It makes no sense. Nothing they do makes sense. They break up for no reason. They get back together. They never even get to a point where they are completely comfortable with each other and then all of a sudden they are engaged. These are supposed to be smart people. Like, have a conversation about kids and curtains and car insurance before you get to that.
7 – I would have liked to see a Chris-Lorelai-Max-Luke love rhombus. That’s like a love triangle, but there’s four of them so it’s an angst-ridden square. Lorelai getting messy with all those guys, because casual sex happens. Like, when you’re on all fours in a dark diner behind the counter trying to hide from people with Luke, that’s a precursor to some impromptu doggy style if I ever saw one.
8 – Why does nobody think of the cost of anything? All of Sookie’s food. Who paid for Max and Lorelai’s wedding? That cake was immense. Somehow the cost was just absorbed and never spoken about again. At one point Luke says he can’t afford to close the diner for a day to paint, but he seems perfectly ok to randomly close it to go fishing, or to let all his customers go without paying when he wants to drive Lorelai to the hospital. Then he randomly buys the building next door. What happened to your money troubles, Luke?!
9 – Does anyone else roll their eyes back into their skull when Lorelai tries to summon her special mummy privileges? Like, sometimes she feels entitled to treat people like shit just because a human fell out of her vagina a while back. She’s terrible to the nurse at hospital when Rory fractures her wrist. She’s an absolute shitter to Luke that same episode. Look, lady, Rory ain’t that special. Calm your jets. There’s protective maternal instinct and then there’s just being a twat.
I realise this all sounds like a big whine. Well, I bloody love this show. Still. I’m am so excited for the new stuff. Yay!
Thanks to Giphy for all GIFs