Joy and Gluttony, London Love Story


June 4, 2015


Earlier this year a young man named Aftab from realised that he had an undying passion for blogging, cake and grassy areas within the general vicinity of Buckingham Palace. He made it his mission to combine all three in one glorious Bank Holiday afternoon.

Now, I didn’t actually know Aftab before this beacon of light in the blogging night came into my life, but I knew Steph from and she was all “come hang with us”. And of course I was all, “I know people, can they hang too?”. Yes folks, it was possible for my assortment of homies to hang too. With that we all sank into a happy stupor thinking about all the diabetes we were gonna get from the cakey cakeness.

When I got there on the day, there was a lot of cake. Moreish cheesecakes, hashtagged cupcakes made by the lovely Sheepa at, amazingly gooey brownies from The Brownie Queen, ie Sophie at, hot pink meringues from Flick at and even more chocolate brownies from Connie at Plus every other foodstuff that’s ever been discovered to be edible.

I met some great people. Internet friends who turned out to be real people: Suze from, Catherine from, Jaime from, old favourites: Angie from and Alexandra from / Zomato and also some brand new people, like Mary Lou from She gave us The Celebrated Brontë Liqueur Blackberry & Sloe and mixed it up into a winning cocktail with ginger ale. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s what Jesus drinks while everyone else is drinking Pimms.

Flick's meringue. Artfully placed on a Union Jack Flag. It doesn't look like a Union Jack, but it's a small meringue and a large flag...

Flick’s meringue. Artfully placed on a Union Jack Flag. It doesn’t look like a Union Jack, but it’s a small meringue and a large flag…

Gougères. In Flick's world, these are currency.

Gougères. In Flick’s world, these are currency.

Sophie toiled for years to become The Brownie Queen, and now has the crown welded to her head.

Sophie toiled for years to become The Brownie Queen, and now has the crown welded to her head.

Cheese and biscuits. All of the yes.

Cheese and biscuits. All of the yes.

We feasted. We giggled. Flick got a bit wild after a bottle of Prosecco and tried to steal all of Sheepa’s gougères, proving that the Swiss only claim to be neutral until a cheese puff is at stake, then it’s every cheese lover for himself…

We were gifted all kinds of goodies, from Zomato vouchers through to Bonne Maman jam and Newby tea samples… I foolishly didn’t look into my bag before selecting it from the pile, so I ended up with caramel spread while everyone else got blueberry and cherry jams. This brought on a solo pity party until I dug a little further and found the Bonne Maman recipe book with 30 things to bake. Looks like I’m gonna be baking something gooey and caramelly. Look out for that extravaganza.

What’s the most important thing I took home from the day? Cervical smears are essential. (and to a similar extent, and, though they’re probably less likely to make public declarations) are very interested in your cervical health. Please visit your doctor, get that metallic duck-esque speculum dooda crammed into your intimate joy and get it all screened. If you do one thing this month, do that. Unless you’re cervix-less, in which case I’ll give you a pass. Otherwise, it’s legs together at ankles and apart at the knees, no shame in that game.

See, invite me somewhere nice, give me cake and all I can talk about is fanny. That’s just the way I roll. Finally, if you’re wondering, no I didn’t take anything edible to this picnic myself. I’m a selfish egotistical muppet and I just eat without giving back. That and my organisational skills leave a lot to be desired. Long story.

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