Travelling and Poking About

Get out of my head #travellinkup

September 2, 2015

This is me queuing in the rain in Amsterdam with a Union Jack umbrella for tickets for something I could have bought online and thereby bypassed this ordeal because my thought processes are terrible. No need to explain further.

It’s the travel link up again, thanks to Emma, Kelly, Rebecca and Liz, and this month the theme is the place (or places) that you can’t get out of your head. Well, I’m going to be a little different with this one, because getting out of my head can be a mission in itself.

I’m a worrier, a stress head, an anxiety driven mess and right now especially my head is somewhere I’d like to travel away from. Please, someone, send me on a holiday from myself! Just to show you what I mean, here’s a live stream direct from my brain:


Am I hungry? I think I could be. Should I eat?

I can’t be bothered. Can I get my husband to get food?

The kitchen is too far away. I’m not hungry

Maybe I just want to fiddle with something. Find something to chew on.

This pen. This will do.

OOOh is that a goose? By the window, no?


My cat would chase that goose. My cat is in New Zealand. The goose is not.

I should paint my toenails. That one’s chipping.

I don’t think people like me.

Why haven’t you replied to my text? Oh god I said something offensive.

How long before Mark goes into the kitchen to make his own food and I can get him to make mine at the same time without looking demanding?

I should watch a Beyonce video. Which one? Whatever comes up.

Why doesn’t my arse look like that?

It could, if I stood like that. Maybe.

I don’t stand like that. My shoulders are hunched. Sit up straight.

Why do I slouch? It makes you look bad.

That and broken hair and wispy stuff.  That also looks bad.

If I was a man I’d look good with a beard.

No, you’d look like your father.

Wait, I can’t imagine my father without a beard.

Does this mean I’d look good with a beard if I was a man? That statement still stands.


Dammit, I think Mark’s asleep.

If I go into the kitchen I could forage for chocolate.

Oooh if I’m standing up anyway lets stand on the balcony.

I can see my neighbour. Why is he naked?

Oh, no he’s wearing a towel. Yep.

Aaaaaand he can see me looking at him. Great. Pretend you’re looking over there.

There’s nothing there.

There could be something there.

Pretend you see a fox.

What does your face look like when you’ve just seen a fox? Like this?

Is he smoking a joint now? It looks like he is.

For god’s sake man put on some pants.

Hey, I think that really is a fox!

Why do people strap their babies to themselves like that? What if it projectile vomits on you? How do you run away from it?

Oooh, Mark moved. He’s only pretending to be asleep.

I should pluck his eyebrows, that will wake him up.

Pay attention to meeeeeee!

This is why people don’t like you.

I have no money. How do I pay that bill? Oh god oh god oh god.

Should I look in my bank account? No.

Do I need to sneeze? I think I lost it? Will it return?

I want perfume. Sometimes people walk past me and they smell really good and I want to be one of those people.

Those people wash their hair more often than I do.

I have no money.

I need more knickers. I can’t be bothered going to Primark.

Why isn’t Primark online? My life would be so much better if Primark had an online store. I’d even pay one pound extra per product plus a delivery fee just to get stuff from the safety of my couch.

Oh god, that memory. The embarrassing thing that happened four years ago.

I wonder if other people still think about that?

Other people don’t think about that.

People hate me.

I’m only one more bad remark away from losing my friends.

Why can’t I be different?

Why is her life so good?

Why can’t I just shut up?

Should I make noodles?

I don’t like living here.

I should be working.

I should have done that thing by now.

Why are there so many kinds of ginger?

What’s the difference between ginger and redhead and auburn? Is strawberry blonde a thing? Is that people who feel the ginger stigma and make something up so they don’t have to use the ‘g’ word?

If I had tourettes which bad word would be the one that would be my ‘main’ tick? I say a lot of terrible words in my real non-tourettes life so it would probably be…


I should go running. It would clear my head.

Where’s my iPod?

Beyonce? Are you there, Beyonce?


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