Rants and Whimsy

All Views Are My Own

November 17, 2014

Ahhhhh, I remember the day that I first set up my Twitter account. The big decisions that had to be made. Firstly, what to call myself, and secondly, before even composing my first 140 character rant, I had to decide whose views I was going to tweet.

That’s the life changer, that one. If I had been thinking ahead back in those early days I may have considered possibly one day selling both my soul and my entire online persona to the Illuminati and thus decided to tweet only the views of Beyoncé. Instead I chose to tweet my own views. Naively, I didn’t even mention this in my profile. I just assumed that people would know that my tweets were my views because they were my tweets and had my name and email address and what not associated to them. Silly, silly me.

Of course, these days everyone knows that putting “All Views My Own” at the end of your bio is a kind of magical protection against getting into any real world trouble for any stupid, offensive or threatening shit you feel the need to tweet about. It’s totally fool proof, man. I mean, those guys at Forbes don’t think so, but really, what would they know? Twitter is all about the people, and if the people are clear about whose views their tweeting no trouble can be gotten into. Trouble only happens when people have to guess about the origins of your views, amirite?!

You just fell free to include your full name, the company you work for, your job title and your boss’ home phone number in your bio, because as long you verify that you’re tweeting your views and not the company’s views, you’re sweet. Be as provocative as you want, they can’t touch ya.

We all know that these witch hunts start when people wrongly assume that you’re being paid to tweet company policy on company time. That’s the real problem here. If you’re one individual tweeting your individual thoughts there’s no way it could get you fired. You’re allowed to have those opinions as an individual.

It’s not like the people who are outrageously upset about your last 15 tweets feel that your views are so ridiculous that any company ought to think twice about being associated with your bigoted ass, and are trying to start and online campaign to get you fired because employing shitty opinion-ed individuals can often make for a shitty company policy, they’re fully aware that you’re tweeting your own views but they’re determined to kick you where it hurts.

Oh wait, it is like that. Take it as a given that everyone already knows you’re tweeting your own views. Don’t tweet stuff that will get you in hot water unless you really need the thermal bath today and put those last 20 characters in your bio to better use.

Don’t even get me started on “RTs do not mean endorsement”.


You Might Also Like