We’ve all heard about Instagram envy monster. The feeling you get scrolling through your feed when you see that perfect person with the shiny hair, the tidy
house mansion, the deliciously symmetrical bagel, the bathroom grouting not filled with black mould… Basically the person who has a feed dedicated to making it look like they have their shit together, while you’re over here deciding on whether today you will brush your hair or put on trousers, coz fuck knows you don’t have time and energy to do both.
Well, screw that person. We all have about twenty eleven of them in our feeds and I don’t need to give you any help finding any more of them. Today I’m giving you ten hilarious Instagram accounts instead. Ten accounts that will make you smile as you scroll and whip out the sassy hand emoji 💁 (maybe even a little sassy whale🐋) rather than take to the bathroom tiles with a bottle of bleach and the toothbrush of your enemy.
This girl is a total crack up. Amazing food, a lot of it fashioned into penis shapes and a shit tonne of funny memes if you catch her at the right time in the morning. She had another account with 40k followers, but it was kicked off Instagram when one of her spam musubis ejaculated on Zuckerberg’s face.
2 – @subtledildo
There’s a dildo hidden in every photograph on this account. It’s Where’s Wally for adults. And by adults I mean people who have the maturity of a 12 year old, ie, me.
3 – @samsontheladle
No penis gags here, just a ladle who looks like the Loch Ness Monster going about his daily life.
4 – @latenotes
This guy writes late notes for his kids. Like, really involved, ridiculous late notes. If I ever bothered to explain why I was late, this would be how I’d do it.
Stella is the food blogger we all want to be. She speaks the truth.
Sometimes things look like vulvas and we all giggle. Things like elephants. Napkins. Sofas.
7 – @byefelipe
I’ve mentioned this account about hideous online messages to women in other posts, but OMG just follow it. Yes, there’s a female equivalent @bye_felicia_submissions but things are rather quiet over there for some reason.
A similar account to ByeFelipe. Not about the traditional LOLs per se, but definitely some humour in there and biting sarcasm which I’m totally on board with.
This is the account of Kirby Jenner, Kendall Jenner’s fraternal twin. His Photoshop skills are so, soooo good.
10 – @sarahandersencomics
Basically everything this girl draws is my life, in awkward monochrome.